YO IF U IZ BORD Y NOT HAV A LUK AT DIS WOT I MAYD.

A series of unfunny sketches not at all influenced by Jam. I had absolutely nothing to do one evening…

I saw a suited man today with the funniest most fake looking ginger wig you could ever imagine. It clearly wasn’t on properly as half of it was hanging down one side of his face. He sat down next to us in Wetherspoons and I just had to walk away to compose myself…

As I was too afraid to snap a pic, I did a lovely drawing of him on my phone which you can see after the jump…
Read More…

The Jonathan Borders Army needs YOU* to enrole

We have three aims.

• First Aim: World Domination
• Second Aim: The purging of all JonathOn’s from our new world.
• Third Aim: Acquire sweet rides.

We are the most perfect fighting squad in the world which is why we have a strict recruitment policy based on a little-known scientific formula that Einstein himself wrote down right before he died.

JB > E

JB here being Jonathan Borders and E being Everyone else.

We are currently THREE members strong and our membership rate shows no sign of slowing.

JB intelligence resources are currently trying to determine whether the following ‘Jon Borders‘ is actually a Jonathan by birthright.

He appears to have had previous training and would be a highly valuable asset to our team. He also has an awesome boom box. If anyone has any further information on this Jon Borders then please get in touch via the comments below.

Join us on facebook.*

*Providing your birthname is Jonathan Borders. No John’s or JonathOn’s allowed

You know who I utterly detest at the moment? The one person on this planet who I want to pummel to the ground with my MEGAFIST™. Well… it’s this guy…

This TWATBAG managed to get facebook.com/jonny JUST before me (not a working link you’ll note, he doesn’t deserve it.) Just look at his SMUG FUCKING FACE, all proud and happy about acquiring this highly prized web address. Don’t you want to just smack him around with a ball and crane in a giant sized game of Devil among the Tailors? I do. I stayed up until 5am only for this psychic cocksucker to get in there right before me. I swear the facebook username page must have updated at slightly different times depending on region. I got stuck with /jonnyborders as even /jonnyb was taken by the time I’d finished pissing all over a printed picture of the devil himself.

I thought I’d share my feelings with him.

I hate this guy. What a PRICK!